In the last note, I suggested that most of us live in fairly close proximity to someone in the midst of (or on the cusp of) deep sadness – a neighbor, colleague, spouse, child, etc. My concern was that we might move around in a community of folks who need help, yet miss those needs through preoccupation or apathy. A man shared with me on Sunday that he read last week’s email on his phone while sitting in a restaurant, waiting to meet a friend who had just experienced a great loss. He was prompted to enter that meeting with a greater awareness of where his friend was. I suspect that we could all grow in the discipline of noticing.
Recognizing that Christ-centeredness does not counter human compassion (making us oblivious to the sorrows of others), we noted that following Jesus will make us more acutely aware of the needs around us. Noticing, however, is only the beginning of the discussion. What then? Like you, I want to be adept at caring for those I encounter rather than just recognizing their difficulty. By God’s grace, I’d like to take the next five weeks to offer some suggestions in hopes of further equipping us all to walk with those experiencing hardship. My first suggestion is to take this need to the Lord. Ask that God would cause your love for others (particularly those in suffering) to deepen.
I recently heard Aaron Menikoff make a strong point in a message from Acts 21 and 22 – something I’ve reflected on since.
“Only God”, he said, “can make a person truly loving.”
If you’re like me, categorical statements like that give me pause, yet, in this case, I think he’s absolutely right. Only God can make a person truly loving. 1 John 4:16 teaches us that God’s love is a definitional thing; he is love in the way that oceans are wet. It is bound up in his very essence. Beyond that, both loves to which we are explicitly called in Scripture are well beyond our capacity to produce unaided.
“You shall love the Lord your God
with all your heart
and with all your soul
and with all your strength
and with all your mind,
and your neighbor as yourself.”
(Luke 10:27)
The “alls” and the “as” in this verse are enough to settle the “can-we-or-can’t-we” discussion. We can’t. Jesus pushed this “as” criteria even further in John 13:34 when he said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” That we cannot generate. And to be clear, every fruit-bearing act of obedience falls in this category. “I am the vine”, said Jesus, “you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
What we are called to (and what those around us might expect from us as those who follow Jesus) we cannot manufacture. We must look to the Lord. This need not feel like resignation or despair, for it is the appropriate response to every need, and it is the heart of the Father to give good things to those who ask. We ask for impossible things all the time, and it is God’s glory to do what we can’t (Mark 10:27). So, as Jesus said, “Ask” (Matthew 7:7). That’s the first of our five encouragements. If last week’s verb was “notice”, this week’s is “ask”.
Ask that God would deepen your capacity to love those around you. Don’t ask once. Ask again and again.
And I’d love to hear how God answers this prayer.